The Comic Critic Reviews The Room

When I go to comic book conventions, I always ask my fans what their favorite films are. A lively discussion follows; we break movies down by genre and pick our favorites. And there is one genre of film that arouses the passions of masochists, the Bad Movie. Trying to define the Bad Movie is an evening’s discussion in itself. But for the purposes of today’s commentary, let’s go with this: a Bad Movie is one that strove to be a good, if not great movie, and failed to such a wretched degree that it’s easily considered to be one. And as this topic came up again and again, a movie title I’d never heard of before also came up. The name of that movie was—you guessed it—The Room. I’ve seen my share of awful films, mostly in my pursuit of seeing as many horror movies in the eighties as was humanly possible, but I’d never seen The Room. This one, having been released in 2006, is a relatively recent blight on cinematic art. I confess that my curiosity got the better of me, and I promised a fan I would watch and review the film. I expected that I might lose two hours of my life to the experience, but I hadn’t prepared for the anguish-inducing, soul-sucking, time-slowing, black-hole-of-waste that makes up The Room. If there is a hell for movie critics, this is what’s playing at every mandatory matinée.

The Comic Critic Reviews Skyline

My friend Chuck Messinger, comic book writer, owner of Comic Evolution, co-founder of Creator’s Edge Press, likes Skyline. I can’t tell you why he likes this movie because that would be a spoiler. I go out of my way not to drop spoilers. I’d love to describe this alien invasion movie by referring to other movies, but even those hints would be spoilers. The plot is so thin that if it were paint being applied to a wall, it would need a second coat. Let’s just say that this is meant to be a good movie and ended up being one of those bad movies that’s fun—that’s how bad it is. I finally found a few obscure, yet more-or-less accurate references to use. Oh, and I hear that Skyline 2 is in development.

My friends Gordon and Paul are part of the Norman Tweeter Productions. When they hit the movies they are merciless with their raw spewing of spoiler-filled comments - usually done in the back of their car in the theater parking lot while emotions (or other things) are high. Here is their video review of Skyline. By the way, Paul and Gordon are puppets.

The Comic Critic Reviews Sucker Punch

The visuals were amazing. Too bad they weren’t there at the start of the movie. I’d wanted the first image on the screen to be the sensual equivalent of taking that first sip of soda from a freshly popped can. Instead, I got a mouthful of dishwater. Maybe it began so quietly that I didn’t notice. Maybe it was that unhurried path through a hackneyed opening story that put me off. Whatever the cause, as the closing credits ran, the wild visuals and fun action were not enough for me to forgive Sucker Punch its lame start. I am, however, going to enjoy seeing the costumes worn by fans at future comic conventions.

The Comic Critic Reviews Exterminator City

I have seen a lot of bad films. In fact, I’ve even arranged levels and studied formulas of bad, and I thought I’d seen a version of every type of bad there was. I was wrong. Exterminator City broke open whole new territories of bad. It was a grueling exercise of stamina to sit through this tedious bombardment of utter crap. This was supposed to be a horror movie, and horror movies are meant to be scary. The only thing scary about this film is the obscene amount of cosmetic surgery some of these women have undergone. If you, dear fan, take this review as a personal challenge to your bad movie endurance, please ignore the urge and watch something else, anything else, but not this celluloid slop. Please.

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