Weekly Dose of Mark

 

Sunday, July 30th 2023 • 07/30/23

Allen Gladfelter drove both Greg Spence Wolf and me to Freelance Fandango. We arrived at the Red Elm Café to find a notice on the door that they were closed today due to staff shortage. I checked my phone, and sure enough, there was a voicemail from the owner telling me this. Somehow I missed it. So Greg left a sign on the door that Freelance Fandango will be held at our backup Corina’s Bakery. As Allen drove us over, I sent texts to Jennevieve, Stowe, Corry, and Anique. I asked if I had forgotten anyone. Don’t forget Nori! I sent Nori a text. Only later, when Stan strolled in and gave me a stern look, I forgot to text him. He teased me about it. Who do you forget to text? The one guy who is always at this thing. Allen asked me as the meeting ended what I would include in my write-up on the meeting. Will it be Nori’s gift to me of Japanese stamps and the stories of his visit with his mother there? Would it be Stan’s graphic novel that he received as a Kickstarter reward? Or would it be Stowe telling us about his daughter’s wonderful time at the Taylor Swift concert? How the wristbands were electronic and lit up creating patterns in the crowd to go with the music. I looked over at him, and he saw it in my eye. You’re going to write up the venue change, aren’t you? Yes, Allen. Yes, I am.

Wednesday night, I was enjoying dinner with Krista. I’d rescheduled The Grand Drawing Room live drawing event to begin at 6:30 rather than 6:00 just to have a non-rushed dinner. But, at 5:50, I got an email from Payton DeSanta, our model for the evening. She was letting me know that she’d arrived and that others were also showing up. So I sent her a text saying I was on my way. I quickly finished the few bites left on my plate and rushed out the door. I thanked everyone who showed up early for having the drawing session as a regular habit and encouraged them to attend at the new time. I’ll have to make a point of stressing the new time during the next wave of announcements. We had fifteen artists show up. In my correspondence with Payton, I’d encouraged her to go with a lighter, thinner costume because of the heat. She was very proud of her armor and wanted to show it off. She got a little woozy and had to take a break at one point. As she got back into position, I cheerfully mumbled in a mom’s tone. “Why don’t you wear the green costume? I asked. It might be better in case that space gets hot. But, no. You wanted to show off the armor.” Peyoton turned her head coyly at me and, with a surgery grin lacking any sweetness, said, “When you’re right. You’re right.” I zipped my lip, then. No need to say anything more about it. At least not without her whacking me over the head with some of that foam armor.

Saturday was very full. First up was Vince and Kim Kurter’s party at Farm 12 in Puyallup. The catered room was very large and not part of the main restaurant. There were easily fifty people there. The idea was to have this as their wedding reception, 60th birthday party, and all the other stuff they would have done with friends during the pandemic. I met Vince through the Pythians. But we had lots of mutual connections from his time working at newspapers. Breakfast was delicious. There was a fun little art project happening on the side involving rulers, scrabble pieces, glue, and stickers. I met people who were involved in the Tacoma writing scene, specifically Creative Coloquoly.

I’ve recently done illustrations for their anthologies. When the party began to wind down there, I said goodbye to Vince and Kim and went home. I did stop briefly at the fruit stand I parked close to and picked up a half flat of raspberries and blueberries. The next party I went to was a gathering at Greg Wolfe’s house. This was a smaller affair of about ten people. I took over some blackberries I picked in the yard. I had some salt and pepper potato chips and two of the three fruit salads people brought. We were hanging out in Greg and Paulet’s yard in event chairs under an apple tree. I got a call from Krista asking me where the funnel was hiding. She was busy taking the berries I brought home and turning them into berry syrup. The recipe called for a lot more sugar than she was willing to put into the syrup. But I wasn’t going to tell her to add more. Her instincts for cooking are far better than mine. So I went home, a mere four-block walk, and located the funnel for her so she could keep on task. Our plan was to go to the Bon Festival at the Buddist Temple together. But apparently, all the work in the kitchen had tired her out. She had been planning on going right up to the moment when she wasn’t. I went down to the temple to give the Buddist Temple some support by buying their Strawberry Mochi, which Krista loves. The food line stretched down the block. I got in line and enjoyed running into Nori and his daughters. Sweat Pea was there selling books on Buddhism. But I didn’t see any other familiar faces. By the time I got inside the building, I’d decided I was going to pick up some roasted eel. I wanted to see if it was better than the roasted eel I found in the freezer at Paldo and H Mart. I texted Krista and asked if she wanted some and picked up both of our dinners for the evening. I stuck around long enough to watch some of the drumming. Then it was home to eat eel.

Alley News

I went on a walk with Pat this week. The afternoon was cooler, and I’ve been trying to walk twice each day. There is a new feature on Pokemon Go called Routes. There should be a way to use them and to create them. However, it’s a new feature, and we complained about not being able to locate it on the app. I did some research online and found that it flat out wasn’t working for a lot of people. In the meantime, Pat sends me texts showing the photos of all the new Pokemon he’s catching. I have most, but he’s been catching a couple not in my collections.

A squirrel mocks me as it sits next to and on top of the squirrel trap. Krista reports that she saw the orange cat with white feet run across our backyard with a mouse in its mouth. Kill honing those skills, killer. Greg, who lives a couple of blocks down and across the street, has been catching feral cats and kittens. One of the kittens is orange with white feet. I meant to ask Greg about his feral cat catching at his party but forgot.

My neighbor, Button, called out to me as I was walking home earlier this week. The extension of her house comes right up to my property line. She asked if I would remove the tree next to her house because she was worried about it rubbing against the paint. The “tree” was a large native fern I’ve been encouraging for decades. These ferns don’t transplant well. I told Buttons I would build a trellis to keep it away from her house. But Krista said that wouldn’t work and I should remove it. I managed to transplant a fern once before successfully. It was over at my parent’s house. I’d also successfully transplanted a trillium. So I’ve dug up the fern. I should have prepared a hole for it before I pulled it out to the ground. But the day was getting warm, and I was overheating. I think I know just the spot that will be perfect for it. It will have the same amount of shade as before. And if it takes, it will look good. I think Buttons will be a lot happier now once she sees that the plant is gone.

Zucchini, beans, and cucumbers are being harvested daily from our garden. Krista has been busy making Lemon zucchini bread. She just tried an experiment with blueberry lemon bread. She said it had a bit of a blowout when she took it out to the pan. The blowout tasted delicious. Her next batch will be chocolate Zucchini bread. It was only earlier this month that we finished eating all of the frozen Zucchini bread from last year. Maybe our friends, family and neighbors will end up with some again.

Here are some of my dreams:

July 24

#IDreamt Michael McMurphy and I were investigating strange goings on at a campsite. I went in undercover and got a job as a busboy at a diner adjacent to the campsite.

July 25

#IDreamt I was a wizard sent back to 1950 to observe. But I got drunk and created a poorly CAD-rendered starship Enterprise, about seven feet long, to randomly fly around town. I was going to be in trouble when it hit the timeline.

July 26

#IDreamt new internet portals emerged. Yale University was rivaling Netflix. Their slogan: “When you need to post, post-Yale.”

July 27

I must have died again. #IDreamt I was in a waiting room with Sinead O’Connor designing an album cover. The title was “Derick is Dead.” Our conversation: “The revolver should be near the corner.” “Obviously.”

July 28

#IDreamt While waiting for Mick Jagger to arrive, I was examining an odd hibachi grill designed by John Denver. A maid told me the sushi arrived. I wonder why, if there was a maid, I’d been assigned to change the sheets?

It’s been well over a month since I mentioned the audiobooks I’ve enjoyed. I’m way behind on writing reviews for them on GoodReads. Most of the last couple of months have been escapist fantasies or memoirs. If you are curious about my reading history, you can check out my GoodReads account: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/1127263-mark

“Winter in Paradise” by Elin Hilderbrand, June 18, Rating: 7

“The Daughters of Isdihar” By Hadeer Eisbai, Jun 22, Rating: 6

“Throne of Glass” Sara J. Maas, Jun 29, Rating: 5

“Ninth House” by Leigh Bardugo, June 29, Rating: 7

“Nettle and Bone” by T. Kingfisher, July, Rating: 7

“The Warded Man” by Peter V Brett, July 3, Rating: 5

“The Hollow Places” by T. Kingfisher, July 8, Rating: 6

“The Memory Thief” by Lauren Mansy, July 14, Rating: 4

“Carnival of Snackery” by David Sedaris July 19, Rating: 8

“Crying in H Mart” by Michelle Zauner July 24, Rating: 5

“Calypso” by David Sedaris July 29, Rating: 8

“The Children on the Hill” by Jennifer McMahon, July 29, Rating 6

This book reminds me of some of the horror books I would read back in the ’80s. It’s set up horror, where little hints are presented, and he sees if you can guess where the writer is going. Will the story go to the left or to the right? Will a guess turn out to be correct, or did we extend our assumptions too far? The innocence of children is volleyed back and forth with the cruelty of a tennis match that doesn’t worry about the wear of the ball. Checked out from the library on an application called Libby.

68.

July 22

The Slumber Party Massacre (1982) Rating: 6

As I went to the Friday Night Frights showing at the Blue Mouse Theater, I wondered if I’d seen this movie before. Allen Gladfelter picked me up, and then we picked up Mark Brill, who’d created the poster for this showing of the movie, before carpooling to the destination. It was the first kill in the movie that reminded me I’d seen it, probably on VHS with a rented machine back in the ’80s when you’d through your lot in with a bunch of strangers to do a marathon of rentals overnight before returning the machine the next day. This time I was in an audience that loves trashy, dated films like these. I sell bingo cards with horror tropes on them. My friends were calling out tropes from memory as we tried to keep a body count. This exploitation slasher pleased everyone. Maybe it will take me another forty years to forget the details.

69.

July 22

Oppenheimer (2023) Rating: 8

I’m suffering from movie afterglow. I wasn’t expecting much from this film and was completely blown away. There are multiple plot lines that weave together so skilfully that you don’t realize the overall big picture is a rope of a plotline. All the actors gave high performances. Allen Gladfelter treated me to this movie at the Grand Cinema.

70.

July 23

Bird Box Barcelona (2023) Rating: 7

This is not a sequel to “Bird Box,” which came out in 2018. Rather it is a story told in the same world, at a different location in the world. The story dives a bit deeper into madness, treachery, and perception. I was going to give it a slightly lower score than the first film in the franchise, but I gave it an extra point for having a dog with a name. I watched it on Netflix.

71.

July 29

Saw (2004) Rating: 6

I can’t believe it took me nearly twenty years to get around to watching this movie. At least now I’ll feel better about watching the rest of the franchise. I couldn’t have helped to see clips, parodies, and spoilers in those long years. Still, it holds up fairly well, and I’m curious to see if the writing will be as tight as in the rest of the franchise. I can also see how this film influenced others that followed. I watched it on a DVD from Netflix.

Weekly Dose of Mark

 

 

Friday, July 21st, 2023 • 07/21/23

 

On Monday the car didn’t start. I texted Greg Spencer Wolf and told him I could not pick him up. He asked if I needed him to come over to jump-start the car, and I agreed. It took him a while to find the right alley because he was looking on the wrong side of the street. The car was locked in park, so we couldn’t move it out of the garage. With the car in the garage, our cables were not long enough. I left Greg and Krista looking through the manual to get my neighbor Don’s electric starter. Greg and Krista discovered a way to unpark the car in the manual, but by then, Don was over with the starter. Don tried to open the battery to check the water but with no luck. I thanked him and Greg. After I told Greg I was going to go to the battery store, he drove on his own down to Fandango. During all of this, I called Stowe to let him know I couldn’t pick him up. The battery store said the battery was still under warranty, but checking it showed it was back to 80%. Krista told me the inside cab light had been left on. I remember going out to search through the glove compartment the day before. I must have left it on, and it drained the battery. I was only an hour late to Freelance Fandango, where Greg, Jennevieve, Stan, and Penny were kind enough not to tease me too much. The KitKat flavor was cookies and cream, which the group found to be too sweet.

 

Krista and I have enjoyed watching Sumo this week. It’s the July Basho. There’s a changing of the guard happening. Several of the players we’ve cheered on over the years are either retiring or falling into the lower rankings. There’s a lot of young blood coming in, and I do mean young. One of the youngest is a nineteen-year-old whose hair still isn’t long enough to form a topknot. We are watching to see if early injuries will shorten their career. A sport that is basically king-of-the-hill sees a lot of injuries. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a basho where a player didn’t bleed or withdraw from injury. I won’t bore you with statistics. Just know that for 30 minutes in the day, sometimes in the morning, more often in the afternoon or evening, Krista and I are calling out the names of who we think will win and howling in agony or triumph at close calls, just like football or baseball fans. We don’t wear any sports colors, but I did have a Takayasu pillow I wave about.

 

This week I’ve been taking my daily walks in the morning while it is still cool. I was finishing my walk around Wapato Park and saw children playing in front of the civic center. This is the time of year when it is used as a location for children to come and play with supervision. A group of what must have been eight-year-olds were playing musical chairs on the grass. My best guess is that it was early in the game. There were at least ten chairs to be circled, with only a couple having been set aside. The organizers were pros at this. I could see that they were drawing out the game as long as they could, so the tension would be high for both those watching and participating. The kids were all smiling, laughing, jumping, and waving their arms. It was a charming scene and a perfect way to bring my walk to a close. I’m trying to remember the last time I played that game. Was it in grade school? I have less than a memory, an inkling perhaps, of playing it in college in the dorm commons. Earlier in my walk, I was laughing. I was on a dirt path surrounded by birds singing, bright greens of plants and trees around me, a warm sunny day with a light breeze, and all was right in the world. You really have to enjoy those moments when they happen.

 

I was happy to find a nickel on the sidewalk during one of my morning walks. I’m lucky if I find a penny. I’ve found quarters and dimes, but finding a nickel was not bad at all. It was just as I was thinking this that I spotted a folded five-dollar bill. I truly couldn’t believe my luck. I thought it must be torn in half. But, no, it was an intact five-dollar bill. As I tucked it into my pocket, I realized that this was going to jump out in the statistics I keep of picked-up money. The total for 2021 was $1.06. 2022 was $1.35. When I got home, I told my wife I found a nickel.

“WooHoo,” she said cheerfully.

“That’s what I thought,” I said. “But a few footsteps later, I found this.” I snapped the five-dollar bill out between my two hands like I was holding up a shirt.

“I five dollar bill!” I announced.

“Ooooooooo!” She admired.

 

There’s a new lost dog bulletin posted on a utility pole near the post office. A 12-year-old Chihuahua Dautson mix ran away on the 4th of July. I wonder if the fireworks scared him out of his senses. I also wonder if he ever made it home safely and if their owner never bothered to take down the signs. 

 

The Weird Cabal is a group of artists I organized to create movie posters for the Grand Cinema’s Weird Elephant series. Wade, the fellow in charge of scheduling movies at the Grand, told me he planned on getting “The Wicker Man.” I usually will let the entire group put “dibs” in on a film. But I’ve not done a poster in months and wanted to do it, so I started the artwork for the poster even before Wade officially announced it. The rest of the group forgave me. The Grand announced that one of the movies they will be showing is “The Cabinet of Dr. Calgori.” I would love to do a movie poster for that classic, but I’d already claimed “The Wicker Man.” It wasn’t long before Brill and Stowe both put in dibs. I mentioned I wanted to do it, too but knew I’d have to let someone else take it. Stowe suggested that all the members of the Cabal do a poster. Just as this idea gained traction, Wade stepped in and said that both “The Cabinet of Dr. Calgori” and “Nosferatu” had their own group that toured with the films and sold their posters. They didn’t want to have to split sales. He apologized for not mentioning that sooner. I’m still thinking about doing a poster, which I can always sell at my other shows. 

 

Alley News

There was a flurry of activity outside my window. It was the young grey cat hot on the heels of a grey squirrel. He must have caught him by surprise because this squirrel was practically under its claws. Had the cat a little more experience, the squirrel would have been a goner instead of finally managing an escape through some bushes. I opened the front door, complimented the cat for his fine efforts, and set up the squirrel trap. I told Krista about the excitement. A couple of hours later, I reported the squirrel was in the trap. “Already?” she asked. I loaded the trap into the trunk and drove it to Sprinker Center. Their large parking lot is under renovation. Most of it was torn up. I had to park near the edge of the road in what spaces were remaining. The squirrel had four options, through the tall temporary chainlink into the dirt and dust of the parking lot construction, across the street to the golf course, across another street to Goodwill and strip mall, or to a large lone pine tree set next to the side of the road. It chose the pine tree. As I put the trap back into the trunk, I noticed a portable surveillance camera. It was part of a trailer unit with a tall telescoping pole with a camera on top. I’m sure it was used to check the perimeter of the parking lot. I wondered if it was on and if anyone was going to be amused by a few seconds of footage. The next day I noticed there was another squirrel in the yard. I’d reset the trap, and the varmint was digging around next to it.

 

July 15

#IDreamt I called my wife over to the window to see a goldfinch. Then I realized it was a Robin-sized, yellow, orange, and black. What type of bird is that? I asked.

 

July 17

#IDreamt I lived in one of the outer dimensions. My job was to adjust the filters to make it look better than it was to encourage choosing it as a destination. Most dimensions travel was one way.

 

July 18

#IDreamt my family was at a fishing lodge in Forks when the river flooded overnight. The water was at the doorstep. My late grandmother arrived complaining she was cold. I bundled her up in a chair next to the fireplace.

 

July 19

#IDreamt the characters from my recent dreams were creating a competition chart. Some of the criteria for judgment would be non-sequiturs of conversations and erratic movement.

 

July 20

#IDreamt my friend Goro visited me during a family gathering at my Uncle’s house. But the year was 1986. Neither he nor I could talk about what came after 1986.

 

July 21

#IDreamt I was a teenager disguised as a clown retrieving a camera as I attempted to escape from the Fairgrounds.

 

I watched some movies this week:

 

65. July 14

Deadly Instincts (1997) Rating: 3

I thought I was getting “Breeders” from 1987, not this film, which Netflix’s DVD service has titled “Breeders.” Rubber suit alien: check. Sexploitation: check. Way too much running around in the basement, sewers, whatever the hell space they call it: check. I took one point off when I realized I got the wrong movie. And the last point I took off was when the much-awaited exposition was carried out in less than thirty seconds.

 

66. July 16

Evil Dead Rise (2023) Rating: 10

Ramini and Campbell know just what the fans of the franchise want. And this time, they went into it with all the horror and little of the humor. The fans wanted a dark seat-squirmer, and they got one. Homage was paid to the original films in many ways. But all without it being larkish. I watched this movie on Max.

 

67. July 16

Nimona (2023) Rating: 7

I read the webcomic a long time ago. I had no idea a movie option was picked up. The story is a version of the webcomic, so if you enjoyed the movie, I think you would enjoy seeing the difference and choice made when they made the adaptation. The message of the film is very inclusive and more subtle than other animation films featuring inclusion as a theme. Disney made a mistake in dropping this film, and Netflix did more than a good deed in picking it up. Lots of fun.

 

More next week,

Mark

 

Weekly Dose of Mark

 

Wednesday, June 21st, 2023

Last Thursday, I gave an online presentation on the basics of contracts, invoices, and saving money for taxes. The last one is so simple most people don’t give it any credit. But it has proven itself a winner for me. I save 25¢ of every dollar I own. I then either pay taxes, or buy deductible business equipment, or put it in my retirement account. This and other pearls of wisdom fell from my lips into the ears of students and Shoreline Community College. I hope they enjoyed the presentation; I already deposited the check. How did I already deposit the check when I just did the presentation? Because they suggested I invoice them early, which I did.

Krista and I left for Alturas, California, right afterward. This was a very late start for us. Why Alturas? Because that is where Aunt Christine lives, and a visit was long overdue. It’s a long drive, 8-10 hours, depending on breaks, meals, and traffic. We had bad traffic all the way through Olympia, and then as we approached Oregon. It was slow going, and we didn’t arrive in Alturas until 2am on Friday.

We didn’t do much on Friday. We mainly sat on the couch and caught up with Christine. We also went out to dinner at a new-to-us Thai/Japanese place. We really liked the Pad Prik King with Chicken and the Pad Thai with Shrimp. Christine stayed home because she didn’t have much of an appetite. We took her some leftovers.

I can’t remember if it was Friday or Saturday. We had fun gathering up leaves in the back yard. This last winter had been very windy, and a lot of leaves and branches got caught up in the outdoor furniture, pots, and decorations. Between the three of us, it didn’t take long to bag it up.

Krista brought gnocchi and squash sauce. Since Krista normally cooks chicken breast to go with the squash sauce, I was surprised when she brought home hamburger instead. On Saturday, she made a new dish I’d never tried before. Even though it was squash sauce, the richness of the hamburger gave it an Italian flavor that reminded me more of tomato sauce. I had to resist from overindulging.

Aunt Christine has a small black dog named Tucker. He’s half pug and half chiwhawa. His body is very pug-like, as are his ears. The rest of him is a fun mix of both. His underbite has his lower teeth poking out like a bulldog. I think Christine was surprised to see how quickly Tucker took to Krista and me. He spent most of our visit on one of our laps. And he loves playing tug.

Alturas is a small town with only one red blinking traffic light. It has a wildlife refuge. We beat ourselves up for forgetting to bring our binoculars. Thankfully Christine had her handy. Deer in the street and yard is a daily occurrence. There are a lot of birds as well. I added sand cranes and cinnamon teal ducks, and ringneck ducks to my life watch list. There were lots of other ducks and birds, but they were already on my list. The wildlife refuge has had several improvements made to it since our last visit. I’m a little ashamed to think that it might be over ten years since our last visit. It’s a nice town.

Sunday, Krista cooked some salmon. There were snowpeas and pilaf on hand at the house. I loved it as it was just how I liked it. Krista says it was easy to prepare because it was so thick, and she didn’t have to worry about it drying out. It was moist and delicious.

All fun vacations end. Krista and I hugged Christine goodbye Monday morning. We had breakfast at the Black Bear Restaurant in Klamath Falls. Eggs, sausage links, hashbrowns, and biscuit. We timed our arrival perfectly as a table opened up. There was a line forming after us that was just as long when we left. This time we go home at a reasonable time. It wasn’t even dark yet. We grabbed a couple of Shrimp Geisha Bowls at Zen Ramen Sushi Burrito for dinner before we unpacked the car. And boy, did we have a lot to unpack. Christine was very generous with her gifts. A full-size realistic statue of a bulldog now keeps our fake Doberman “Fluffy” company in the living room. Both looking at the front door to startle the Bejezus out of the delivery people. We are still trying to find the right place to put the giant glass pig with a cork nose. The obsidian rocks are hanging out next to the Azalia in the backyard until my friend makes good on his promise to teach me how you flint knap. The bales of hay will come in handy in the backyard. We’re going to be giving Christine reports on what we do with all the other stuff.

Tuesday, I ended up canceling Epic Sketch Time. Bill and I were the only ones in the room for the first twenty minutes, and we set the rule that we wouldn’t record or stay open if it was just the Mark and Bill Show. I then got an email after we closed the room that someone who arrived 25 minutes late was waiting to get in. I sent them an email that we closed due to lack of participants. I think this was the same person who tried to get in last week when I had to cancel due to technical difficulties. Things like this happen. But the event is free, and in its seven-year history, there has only been a handful of cancellations.

There were a lot of birthdays this week. And while I did call him up to wish him a Happy Birthday, I forgot to mention my oldest brother Randy’s birthday last week. Happy Birthday, Randy. There was also Olga’s birthday. And, Jeeze, my niece Melina’s birthday was last week too. I really need to get better at reporting the calendar. Happy Birthday, Everybody!

Alley News

Don was lying on a car repair cart under the back of his car. He didn’t get up when he called me over. I went to the front of the car and picked up an electrical diagram off the hood of the car, and took it over to him. Don’s weak point on cars has always been the electrical. He was cursing the car manufacturer. Apparently, most brands of cars follow the same color guide system for their cars. White for this, red for that, green for this, black for that. But this brand of car uses brown wires with different type of thin little white lines on it. You know, the hardest thing for an elderly man with failing eyes, laying on his back, with poor lighting under the back end of a car, to see. Don is trying to get the wires working that will operate the signal and brake lights of his trailer. The right light works fine, but the left light is not operating properly. It certainly gives him a reason to curse.

The replacement for the lawnmower battery I ordered and then returned finally arrived. The battery was giving me mixed signals. At first, there was no light, then I finally got a light. Then it said it was failing to charge. I put the battery into the charger for a third time before going on vacation. When we got home, I saw a solid green light. A flashing green light would have been bad. The button on the front of the battery then lit up all the lights that indicate the amount of charge. I guess it’s good to put in the mower and see if I can finally get that puppy started up.

I listened to some books:

“Paladin’s Grace” by T. Kingfisher, Rating: 7

A quirky fantasy in which humor and attraction can have the reader rolling their eyes as hard as the hero and heroine's friends. Wonderful fluff that is meant to be enjoyed for its simple escapism.

“An Elderly Lady is Up to No Good” by Helene Tursten, Rating: 7

This series of stories is about an elderly lady who brooks no fools messing with her life. She puts on the facade of being feeble and a bit senile, but her mind is sharp, her body healthy, and she's actually quite formidable– deadly even. My wife and I listened to these stories during a several hours-long drive at night, and we were kept awake and very alert as we followed Maude's interesting life.

I had some dreams:

June 14

#IDreamt Hugh Laurie and I were in a department store. He commented that hide-a-beds were designed to tell your guests to leave after a few days. And if you really didn’t want guests, you should invest in a futon.

June 17

#IDreamt I was one of five people hired to dismantle an office trailer on an oilfield in China that was closing down. Then one of the rigs struck oil, and we were fired.

June 20

#IDreamt I took my luggage to a parking lot photo shoot. But it was filled with Chris Pond’s clothes. James Stowe thought it would be hilarious if I wore them for a photo. #walkamileintheirshoes

June 21

#IDreamt I was doing time at a working ranch. There was a plot to release the prisoners early before anyone could figure out the owner was missing. The prisoners were torn between early freedom and the possibility of bearing testimony. #vampires

I watched a movie this week:

Feast (2005) Rating: 6

I love a fun creature feature. This is just what I was hoping for, with over-the-top splatter, and comedy was a perk. So I gave it to points for that. But I'm taking away one point for all of the scenes in the dark. Still, there was a fun creature reveal after putting it mainly off shot. I had fun watching the CD extras with the edited and deleted scenes. I watched this film on a Netflix DVD.

More next week,

Mark

Weekly Dose of Mark

Saturday, March 4th 2023 • 03/04/23

 

Freelance Fandango was Stan, Nori, and me. Stan brought in his collection of Gahan Wilson books for me to enjoy. I loved looking at all of them. He also returned the Bill Peet autobiography. I thanked him for that as well. Nori did not bring in his camera. But he did mention that he took it out with him this morning and took several photos of birds. The camera can be noisy. This is why he only took a few photos of a Barred Owl over the weekend. He didn’t want to disturb it too much. I told Nori that I was very intimidated by the size of his camera. I scheduled the room for the next month through to April. But another group beat us to next Monday so we will have to gather at an outside table for part of the time we are there. John Draper caught me as I was leaving. I’d forgotten that he’d called and asked me to linger to help him figure out how to create a second Instagram account. Normally I would be against him creating yet another account as he has a hard time growing his audience. But this was to be an anonymous account where he posts or reposts his postings while he is high. Normally his kids and I get these postings, and then he forgets that he’s ever made them. This will be a location for him to do those posts. Hopefully, when he is high, he will remember to log off from his public account and into this one before he posts whatever cat meme catches his interest.

 

I had to take a detour driving home. Our street was blocked off. Telephone poles along our street are being replaced. As I drove the detour, I smelled a stench. When Pat Smith called and asked me for a walk, we walked over to investigate the work crew. There were several trucks, including a fire truck, besides the usual equipment. One of the trucks was marked incident response. There were a lot of workmen on the scene. We asked one if there was a gas leak, and he confirmed that there had been one, but it was being dealt with quickly. Pat and I walked another block and met a young man returning to his house. His wife called and said the house had a bad smell about it. He noted it in the air, and we told him what was happening with the gas leak the next block over. He was relieved as he was concerned he would have to move his wife and baby out of the house. Pat and I continued our walk. It started to hail on us after I bought some lottery tickets at the corner convenience store. We were crossing a street corner that had a roundabout when a car nearly drove over us. The driver was impatient with the line in front of him and was driving around them in the oncoming lane and did not see us crossing the street. It was a near thing; we almost got hit. The other cars honked at the fool while we yelled and waved at him. The crew stayed working on the street all night, and it wasn’t until late the following day that they finished up and moved to their next location.

 

I nearly forgot to mention that Pat downloaded Pokemon Go onto his phone. Our walks have slowed as we stopped to talk to new neighbors, and I’m teaching him how to catch Pokemon. I think he’s starting to get into it. “I spent all last night tossing balls at critters and not catching any of them.” He complained. I tried to comfort him that maybe there was a glitch in the programming. I asked if he had turned it off and started it up again. He said he had and handed the phone to me. I tossed a ball at a Pokemon and caught it. “You fixed it,” I told him.

 

Wednesday, I spent taking my Dad to various medical offices. The first trip was to the Urologist, who sent a scope up and took a look at his bladder. Aside from being ninety-two years old, his bladder and everything is just fine. We then went to the optometrist, where they repaired a new pair of glasses. The frame and screw popped out of them when they were dropped. They fixed it for free in five minutes. We then went to the hearing aid clinic. Dad’s hearing aid can use a Bluetooth connection to connect to the television so the speakers won’t blast my mom. Dad said it worked in the morning but not in the evening. The tech turned them off and then back on again. She gave Dad a splitter for the box at home. As a reward for being his chauffeur, Dad took me to a Japanese restaurant where I ordered a couple of Bentos featuring tempura and sushi. Dad has been going to the gym. He showed me the muscles in his arms. He’s definitely getting toned. My father was a very fit man when he was young, a gymnast whose hunky muscles appealed to my father. I always saw him as a strong man. The hearing aids worked with the television just fine before we even tried to do additional troubleshooting. Mom was back from her day out when we got back. Krista had me take them six chocolate chip cookies. Only three were left when Dad and I rolled back in the door. Dad called out from his chair, “Bring me a cookie!” Which I did. I think he had fears that they might not last until dinner. It turns out he already had a splitter for the box attached to the tv. The speaker didn’t have a port for it, and not one for the cable that came with the box. After hugs and kisses, I drove home and had some leftover spaghetti for dinner with Krista.

 

Friday night, I went to the Grand Cinema and hung out with Mark Brill as he sold the poster he created for “Assault on Precinct 13.” I helped as folks were also buying past posters out of the binder. I had a bit of a scare halfway through the film. I couldn’t feel my left arm. I thought perhaps I might have had a stroke and would have to ask Mark to drive me to the emergency room. The Grand Cinema has very tight seats. It turns out my wedged arm merely fell asleep. After moving it around, all my sensations and dexterity returned.

 

This week's dreams:

 

Feb 29

IDreamt I was hired to do sketching at the future site of a casino in Clallam County. Fearing the worst, I took camping gear. Good thing I did, as the client was a survivalist with an odd sense of humor.

 

Feb 30

#IDreamt I was the lead on a soap opera during the 1950s. The cameramen thought it would be funny if they caught me secretly shot me devouring a Cornish Hen when I was supposed to be off camera.

 

March 1

#IDreamt I got funding to open an apartment building for down-on-their-luck creatives who were trying to get back on their feet. There were supporters and nay-sayers. And one very shabby building.

 

March 2

#IDreamt It was the ’90s, and I was the IT guy for a Canadian traveling circus. Most of the performers went by nicknames taken from the comic “Alpha Flight.”

 

 

March 3

#IDreamt I believed myself to be the cause of a giant whirlpool on a small lake. I managed to stop it by turning a valve on shore. Several small boats and canoes bobbed to the surface.

 

March 4

#IDreamt, my jailers released me onto a Mutant Reservation. I was nearly ostracized again when I told them I’d been charged as an AI freedom fighter. It turned out there was an android prison on the reservation.

 

This week’s movies:

 

23. March 3

Assault on Precinct 13 (1976) Rating: 6

It's been four decades since I last watched this violent exploitation film. It has a rapidly increasing body count. As a child of the seventies, nothing looks out of place in it. Kudos to the child actress portraying Kathy. I watched at the Grand Cinemas with Mark Brill, who created a Weird Elephant movie poster for the event.

 

More next week,

Mark